Hold Onto Hope Love
by x-Whizzified-Magic-x
Summary: AU. Rachel is in a coma after an accident and Quinn becomes a regular visitor. While at her bedside, she develops a new appreciation for the Broadway starlet and starts questioning the path of her own life. [Canon parings and later Faberry.]
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the Glee franchise or any of the characters from it. I, do however own the plot and any characters you don't recognize.

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><p>"I look like Beth."<p>

The first snowfall in Limo, Ohio was long in coming, and did not occur until the mid-week of December. The streets of Allen County were blanketed in a dismal white and surprisingly left snow banks one and two feet in height. Only few were want to brave the icy winds and falling; albeit no one complained. The serene snow fall filled the sleepless town with nostalgia. Many thrilled by the idea of a white Christmas this year.

But she felt differently.

On the very night the winds settled, although the coldness continued to nip at the noses familiarity still wasn't present, even as they drove down her old street where her mother's house resided on the largest hill on Dudley road. The child's bold proclamation hung heavily in the air and she was smart enough not to poise it as a question to emphasise how catastrophic the older blonde's answer would be.

"…Auntie Quinn…?"

Quinn niece's hesitation had her feeling like she was suddenly doused with icy cold water and she spared a concerned look at the little faces of trepidation that stared back at her through the rear-view mirror. Upfront beside her, Puck was looking at her and she abruptly became aware of his large hand squeezing her thigh and casted him a subtle glance his way.

He did this thing with his eyebrows where they dipped down low once before craning his neck around the velour passenger seat to look at the kids seated in the back seat of their car. "Who told you about Beth, Denny?"

The ash-blond toddler fiddled with her car seat buckle and her baby brother beside her whined, shifting in his own car seat. Puck stretched over and soothed him with his baby rattle. Eden Puckerman watched on for a few moments then caught the sadness in her uncle's eyes. "It makes you sad that she has a new mommy…Mama says your heart hurts and when you look at me you see Beth…"

"You will never be-"Quinn's heart tightened at the thought of their beautiful baby girl and her hands gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles whitened. Beth's warmth, purity, and presence protected her from the menacing sensation of failure because she was the product of the perfection she often strived for. Beth is-_was_ her perfect thing and it pained her knowing that her little sister got everything _she_ wanted; a husband, two beautiful kids (another on the way) and a flourishing career as a world-renowned therapist.

Her eyes caught a glimpse of the small, sparkling diamond resting on her ring finger. September, he asked her to marry him, only moments after he received his letter of deployment and in two months' time, Puck would be back in Afghanistan while she would be thrown back into her constant state apprehension.

All her classmates lived new and exciting lives, whereas her's suddenly came to a standstill and this high school reunion would reiterate all her insecurities and fears.

Puck's cellphone buzzed within the cup holder and he reached for it, his brother's name flashing across the screen. "'Sup baby bro? Tell her to relax, we're almost there-yes they're breathing, your wife is more insane than two Berrys put together."

"I didn't mean to make you sad, Auntie Quinn. I'm sorry…" Quinn nearly veered off the road as Eden popped up in between them, bracing herself on the armrest. She heard her sister yelling at Puck in the background about bringing her children to McKinley High in one piece.

"Hey it's not my fault she got your crazy genes!"

She rolled her eyes and turned onto a familiar road heading to their old high school. "It's okay, sweetie thank you. But go back into your car seat. That's really dangerous and I never want you to do something like that again, understood?" Her niece with bright sapphire eyes smiled and Quinn's face melted into a dreamy look of fond remembrance as Eden quickly kissed her cheek and clamored back into her seat. She really did remind her of Beth sometimes. Her smile alone sent her heart racing.

Puck ended the phone call with his brother _and_ sister-in-law and rested his hand down on her fiancée's thigh then gave it an appreciative squeeze. "Everyone's already there except Rachel, something about her limo being stuck in traffic."

The blonde offered the airman a bemused glance. "Leave it to Rachel to flaunt her success over us. That girl's never changed." Puck hummed then leaned over, resting his chin on Quinn's shoulder then began placing kisses along her neck and collar bone. "Noa-Noah I'm driving…quit-_hmm_...small children…"

"I can't help it. I'm the luckiest, _fucking_ man on the planet," he rubbed her thigh and she supressed a moan, "So Berry's rich and famous now, who cares? Doesn't beat what I got."

"P-Puck, we're going to crash if you don't stop. Being in a car accident is not fun, believe me I _know_."

"Hmm, I haven't heard you call me that in a while. Let's pull over and give Eden and Gabe some playmates."

"_Noah_, I see you haven't changed either…"

"'Course not, babe. Where would be the fun in that?" Puck smirked when Quinn tried her earnest to elbow him away while concentrated on the road ahead of them. He eased up and leaned back into his seat with a satisfied grin. "I still got it."

"You're just like mama and papa! Grosssss!" Eden grimaced from the backseat while her brother, Gabriel squealed then gurgled beside her.

"How do you think you two were made, squirt?"

"Francine is going to kill us."

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><p>"<em>Hmm<em>…Ja-ke-wait ri-right-in _here_?"

"I can't help it. You look so fucking _good_ right now, it's driving me insane." Jake Puckerman lifted his wife onto a shelf then slid the straps of her dress down her shoulders, leaving a trail of kisses in its wake. "_Beautiful…_" With both hands, he cupped the blonde's face and gently tilted her head back, color staining her cheeks red. His mouth came down on top of hers, and he kissed her with a fervent hunger. The kiss was wet, hot and wild, and thoroughly arousing.

Francine Fabray-Puckerman drew back slightly and her husband began attacking her neck. "You know-_oh god_- we're not exactly perpetuating the image of being responsible adults, let alone parents-_ohhh_," the dancer and choreographer nipped at her collarbone before soothing the spot with his tongue.

"You're right," Jake sucked in a shallow hiss of breath when she rocked against him and he felt the slight swell of her belly while her fingers worked the buttons of his dark dress shirt. He met her eyes which were hooded and smoldering with a dark want as his lean fingers sank deeply into the flesh of her ass. "But you _know_ how much your _therapist talk_ turns me on-_hmm_, you're making it _extremely _difficult not to rip off your _very_ expensive dress and ravish you in this janitor's closet. Just like when we were teenagers…"

Francine raked her nails down his chest seemingly carved from stone and the half Jewish man groaned heavily in response. "_Please,_" she breathed against him, popping open the top button of his slim-fitting dress pants and hiking up the skirt of her maternity dress, "Fuc-"

The janitor's closet door swung open and the couple froze, Jake in mid-hump and Francine with his earlobe caught between her teeth.

"_Wanky_," Even heavily pregnant, Santana Lopez-Pierce could still manage to pull off a sexy cocktail dress. "Already working on spawn number three?" When she saw the gentle flush rise up Francine's neck as she slid off the shelf and adjusted the straps of her dress, the Latina nearly squealed in disbelief. "No way, another one, Fabray?! Didn't I just deliver Gabe? You two waste _no_ time."

"Hardly," Jake muttered, leaning over to kiss the spot just behind Francine's ear before buttoning up his shirt and straightening his tie. He kept his torso facing his wife who smirked at him, having glanced down at his predicament while smoothing out her hair. "You better hurry and pop that baby out because you're needed in the next five months."

"_Or_, you could finally read those birth control brochures I gave you after Eden. Like, can you not keep it in your pants, Puckerman?"

"Are you just here to harass us or…"

"Well…_yeah_ but Quinn and Puck are here with your, you know, sources of my kid's trust fund," Santana paused as she actually began to think about the possibilities, "On second thought, keep popping those babies out, Britt always wanted to go to Japan."

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><p>"Papa, Mama!"<p>

"Janitor's closet?"

"Puck!"

"What? I know everyone can see the giant hickey on Frankie's neck!"

"It's kinda shaped like _Switzerland…"_

"Whoa, bro you gotta teach me that one."

Quinn swatted Noah's bicep after he bumped his fist against his brother's and sat back down beside her at one of the two tables that held all members of Glee club. Santana waddled into the gymnasium, pinkies linked with her wife Brittany and settled into the seats across from her. Their eyes met and the Latina motioned over to her sister who stroked her daughter's hair from Jake's lap, making an obscene pumping gesture within her chair then rubbed her swollen belly questioningly. The ex-cheerleader answered the doctor's curiosity with a swift dip of her head because saying it allowed would pain her more.

"This punch taste funny…like…_Jack Daniels_?" Francine gazed into her red solo cup then sloshed the liquid around for a short moment before taking another sip.

"Frannie, Artie's kids spiked the punch!" Quinn warned swiftly. Her sister literally turned green and spat the alcoholic liquid back into her cup. The moment stretched indefinitely as Francine's cheeks heated under everyone's scrutiny, her eyes dangerously wide. It wasn't until Santana snorted obnoxiously that the ex-Glee club members caught on.

"Girl, another one? Jake clearly _can't_ keep his hands off you!" Unique hollered, slapping her hand against the table and her equally fierce and sassy partner grinned with shiny white teeth. "And here we thought Mr. Womanizer could not be tamed! Praise _Beyoncé!"_

"No offense to Marley of course. Those two _did _have very steamy history." Kurt Hummel-Anderson snapped his compact mirror shut after his husband, Blaine fixed that one misbehaving strand of auburn hair that was driving him nearly insane. Beside the fashion designer, Marley Lynn turned a very bright red and looked down at her hands, and then Ryder, her husband craned his neck around to glare at him as well as Jake.

Kurt shrugged then felt a tug on his tie and looked down to see Gabriel was cramming the end into his tiny mouth. "No, no, little one. This is _Versace_, much too expensive for your taste buds. Can you say _Versace_ for Auntie Kurt?" The one year old dropped his slobbered tie and stared up at him with big brown eyes. "Guess not. Francine, this child is in dire need of a fashion magazine. Not being able to say _Versace_? What a shame."

"Hummel-"

"Hummel-_Anderson_."

"Oh give it a rest, _The Devil Wear's Prada_!" Santana barked across the table at her old roommate, "and I don't mean _Meryl Streep_."

"Well excuse me _Doctor_ Pierce for trying to shine a little culture into his tiny life."

"He's _one_, that's like a gigabyte of memory!"

"Mama, Mama look, Auntie Rachel is on TV!"

It was Quinn who turned towards the flat screen television mounted on the wall between the two tables and the room grew terribly silent.

"Someone turn it up!" Mercedes Evans shouted from the second table and Artie wheeled over and grabbed the remote from the snack table and turned up the volume. The familiar chimes of the _Breaking News_ rang loud and clear throughout the quietened gymnasium.

"_Singer/Actress Rachel Barbra Berry in Fatal Car Crash"_

"_Former Funny Girl and Wicked starlet Rachel Berry is in critical condition after a car wreck on Harding Highway just before Lost Creek Blvd at seven o'clock this evening. Quoting authorities, CNN reports that Berry was riding in a limousine heading to her ten-year high school reunion which was involved in pile-up that included two tractor-trailers and an SUV, where one was killed and four hospitalized. We will update the situation when we know more."_

Three things followed after the news outlet revealed the horrific black and white footage of the accident taken from a security camera across the street. Francine's piercing scream before running out of the gym with a hand over her mouth, Brittany's startled gasp and the sound of Quinn Fabray's body hitting the ground.

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><p><strong>Hello. I had this idea floating around in my head after running into a slight writer's block. So I hope you like it. Please review and tell me what you think so far.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own the Glee franchise or any of the characters from it. I, do however own the plot and any characters you don't recognize.

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><p>"<em>Look, you have nothing to be scared of. You're a very pretty girl, Quinn. Prettiest girl I've ever met. But you're a lot more than that."<em>

"_We're kind of friends huh?"_

"_I'm glad you're happy. Everyone deserves to be happy."_

"_Wait. Do you not understand what you mean to me?"_

"_Former Funny Girl and Wicked starlet Rachel Berry is in critical condition after a car wreck on Harding Highway just before Lost Creek Blvd at seven o'clock this evening…"_

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><p>Quinn struggled to open her eyes, sobbing with anguish and squinting into the sudden lamp-light. Everything was badly blurred feeling choked as she tried to raise her head and when she did pain exploded through her temples and down her neck.<p>

_"Give me my fucking keys, Kitty!"_

_"Listen Preggo My Eggo, it won't do us any good if you're scraped off some highway too. So sit your size eight ass down and meditate or whatever you therapist people do."_

_"Fuck you, Kitty!"_

_"Jake is well-equipped in that department, thank you, seeing as you're pregnant…AGAIN."_

As Quinn's blurred vision became clearer, her sharp hazel eyes zeroed in on a dark silhouette pressed against the wall near the bedroom door. "R-Rachel?"

"If she had _half_ my talent, then maybe," Mercedes looked comically appalled once she crept into the light, her divatude edging her tone for a moment. Then her expression softened and very quietly sank down to sit on the edge of the king-sized bed. "Rachel was right. She does look a lot like Beth."

"She-?" The blonde braced herself up on her elbows then moaned. Despite all the other places that felt like someone was stabbing her with a hot blade, she glanced down at the other side of her and noticed her sleeping niece curled up into a tiny ball with a green baby blanket that use to be her sister's as a young child. "What happened? All I remember is the news report about…_Rachel…oh God, Rachel!_ Is she okay? Was there anymore updates on her condition? Did-"

"Quinn, _Quinn_. Girl, you need to _relax_," The recording artist chasten gently, grabbing her near-hysterical blond friend by the shoulders to steady her. "You went down like a sack of potatoes tonight. Puck went insane and growled at anyone that came near you," Mercedes released her and watched the bewilderment deepen the creases in Quinn's forehead, "He carried you all the way to your sister's house and watched over you like a hawk. The only reason why I'm here is coz I had Sam distract him with his _first presidents'_ impersonations."

"How long was I out for?"

"Close to four hours now. Everyone from Glee club is here...well except…" The dark diva's eyes became downcast and the ex-cheerleader knew exactly who she was thinking about because she was deeply aware of his lost presence. "He would be the _first_ at her bedside…"

Again Quinn glanced down at her niece who had shifted and cuddled up against her side then ran a thumb along Eden's chubby cheek. "When was the last time you spoke to Rachel?" Her eyes lifted to meet Mercedes and noticed her rigid posture while a tear rolled down her cheek.

"The day of the twins' funeral."

The blonde turned back to Eden before untangling the blanket from her grasp and covering the toddler. She paused for a moment as guilt settled deeply into her heart. "I'm…sorry I wasn't able to make it…I had an audition I was depending on and…I'm _selfish_. I should have been there for you…you were there to offer me a place to stay when I was pregnant back in high school and this is the way-"

"It's okay…Quinn, really," Mercedes quickly wiped her eyes and offered a strained smile. "Trust me, I _know_ what it's like waiting for that call that could either make you or break you." The recording artist reached over and placed a comforting hand on her friend's knee. "Sam and I are still trying. He _really_ wants to introduce our kids to the awesomeness that is _Avatar_."

"Still a nerd?"

"Still a nerd. But I love my white boy and besides, Francine can have kids for the both of us. Home girl is a walking baby making machine."

The old schoolmates shared a brief but quiet laugh until the sound shattering glass followed by shouting could be heard downstairs.

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><p>"Oh <em>finally<em> the _sane_ Fabray graces us with her presence! Can you tell _Hormonal Barbie_ that driving to the hospital in a blizzard would surely get her killed and make Jake and Marley rekindle their throw-up of a relationship!"

"Hey!"

"Oh please Ryder, don't act like you two don't schedule your sexing ahead of time."

The kitchen was in disarray.

Francine took a menacing step towards Kitty and hissed when Jake, Ryder and Mike grabbed her and pressed her tightly against the island. "You're lucky Abrams, you're being touched by multi-racial angels right now or you would've d'un got your ass _handed_ to you all over this expensive kitchen!"

"Oh yeah?!" Kitty argued indignantly, trying to climb over her husband's wheelchair while attempting to pry herself out of Sam, Puck and Blaine's grip. "Well bring it on _Pillsbury Fat Rolls_!"

Quinn had stepped over the broken china plate just beyond the threshold when Jake's attention was diverted by something Santana shouting at him in Spanish and her sister eventually broke from the men's hold, elbowing the Asian dancer in his abdomen and kicking the accountant in the shin. She prepared to advance when Brittany gracefully halted the therapist in her movements with a gentle hug.

"I know you're hurting, Frankie and really confused. But violence doesn't make it go away. Kitty is scared you'd get hurt too and now with Rachel in the hospital, everyone can't handle more bad news." The bubbly professional dancer murmured in her ear then pulled back to rest a tender hand on her slightly protruding stomach. "You're a mommy; you have to stay healthy for this little one and the rest of your Pride too."

Francine looked confused and appealed to Santana for an explanation. "_Pride_?"

The Latina rolled her eyes. "_The Lion King_? You and the human Sperm bank remind her of Simba and Nala."

"Oh…thanks…Britt…"

"You're welcome!"

"How does she do that? Jake, why can't you do that?"

"I have…_other ways_ of taming the beast."

"Yeah by knocking her up every couple of months…"

"I'm standing right here bitches."

"Well now that's over," Quinn began as she attended to her fiancée's side who was looking more agitated than before. He draped a comforting arm around her shoulder and drew her closer to his body. "Is there any more news about Rachel?" She asked, her eyes brimming with an array of emotions. The world may have known Rachel Berry, her smile, her quirks and a talent that rivaled the brightest star in the night sky. But they didn't really _know _her as intimately as Glee club did-_do_. Closing her eyes for a brief moment produced a flood of images, memories, her laugh, and a sensation of almost painful pleasure. This wasn't fair and in the same breath she realized that she'd go to her grave never knowing another person the way she knew Rachel Berry.

"Uncle Kurt," Eden toddled into the kitchen rubbing the sleeping from one eye and holding out his cellphone for him to take when she went over to him at the kitchen table. "It's Auntie Rachel's papa…he sounds sad…"

The room stilled and Quinn's eyes snapped open in an instant.

Everyone watched as Kurt almost too cautiously, gently plucked the mobile from the little girl's hand and held it to his ear. He looked sick to his stomach. "Hello, Hiram…how is she doing?" The adults crowded around him and Quinn breathed in deeply, slipping from Noah's embrace to press even closer to the fashion designer. "_What?_ Well that's absolutely ridiculous! You're her fathers! They can't withhold that kind of information from you! Which hospital is this? Ugh, typical. Yes, hopefully LeRoy can get to the bottom of this. Yes we're all at Francine's. We'll be staying here for a night or two."

"Don't expect me to feed you all."

Kurt level an exasperated glare upon her. "She's not allowed to have a problem with that. Yes, of course. Keep us posted. Okay, you two take care. Bye." The ex-Glee club awaited in a laconic silence as the fashion designer sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "They won't release any information regarding Rachel's condition. Something about following standard procedure,"

"That's complete _bullshit_ if you ask me." Puck supplied vehemently then reluctantly sat down hard in the chair beside his brother's. The anger coursing through his veins would have him breaking the expensive shit in his sister-in-law's house and nor her or Quinn would appreciate that.

"Did anyone call Mr. Shue?" Marley asked, stroking Gabriel's golden-brown hair in a way of calming herself. The baby twisted around and looked up at her. He was practically a mini-version of her ex-boyfriend and she smiled down at him forlornly.

"He called me," Sam admitted, running a hand down the back of his neck. "Him and Ms. Pillsbury are catching the next flight out of Houston. They're really shook up over this…I mean, Rachel is one of the coolest people I know. She didn't deserve this."

"She doesn't…" Quinn mumbled with hardness to her voice that the others now recognized as disapproval. She touched her fingertips to the small golden cross pendant lying against her throat. "I think…we should all get some rest. I'm sure Kurt will let us know if anything new comes up."

The fashion designer nodded feeling extremely drained. He reached for Blaine's hand as he stood. "Come on, darling. You know what I say about wrinkles."

The director smirked at his husband. "That wrinkles are unbecoming?"

"Exactly, which is why I request the biggest room here."

Francine blinked in astonishment. "That's _our_ room." She remarked with a bite in her tone, gesturing to her husband who cradled their sleeping son in his arms. Jake narrowed his eyes.

"Just wait a cotton-picking moment!" Santana snarled, ignoring her wife who quickly apologized to Mercedes, Unique and Jake for her _racist_ comment. "Me and Britts already called dibs. We needs to get our lady kisses on and baby Emilio needs to be comfortable. So better luck next time Lady Hummel."

As the bickering started, Quinn and Puck quietly tip-toed from the room having already claimed the master bedroom for themselves.

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><p>Abruptly the thought of Rachel and exploding metal surfaced in her mind along with a tight clenching of her gut.<p>

_She's going to be okay. This is Rachel we're talking about. She's strong, she's a fighter._

The mattress shifted and she felt her fiancée spread long, calloused fingers to cup her cheekbone, rubbing his thumb at the corner of her eye gently. Meeting Noah's hazel-green eyes sent a distinct, sharp ache spiraling through her. Moreover, the expression in those eyes: desiring, prideful but also showing an experience of pain, a troubling knowledge of cruelty. "What are you thinking about, Q?"

"_Former Funny Girl and Wicked starlet Rachel Berry is in critical condition after a car wreck on Harding Highway just before Lost Creek Blvd at seven o'clock this evening…"_

"No one, Noah. Let's just go to-"

"I asked _what_ not _who_." The white sheet's slid away from his body as he sat up in bed. "I don't get you sometimes, Quinn. I always have to pry stuff out of you. I thought you were gonna try and be open with me."

The ex-Cheerio rose, clasping the sheets close to her breast to retain some modesty in front of him, though it seemed kind of pointless now as he ravished her naked body only moments ago. "What do you want me to say, Noah? That I'm terrified there's a possibility that Rachel might not make it? Or the fact that the last conversation we had I told her she should worry about her own love-life or lack thereof!"

Anguish filled her harsh whisper of a voice. Noah wasn't just aware of it; it struck him again and again until it left a searing gaping hole in his chest. "Babe…it's okay. She probably knew you didn't mean it-"

"You don't get it, Noah! You didn't hear her voice cracking trying to put on that stupid brave act she always does…because _I'm_ the one who reminded her of what she could have had if…_Finn_ didn't-" Even as she wanted to say the word, she saw how empty and inane it would have sounded. Because it was. Words could not take back how terribly Rachel suffered out of all of them. Nothing ever could.

"Babe-"

Quinn's cellphone vibrated from the bedside table and she reached over to glance at an unknown number flashing across the screen. She swiped the screen and pressed the mobile to her ear. "Hello?"

"_Hello? Hello...Quinn? It's Rachel's father, LeRoy. I'm sorry to be bothering you but Kurt's phone seems to be off and you were next on the emergency contacts list in Rachel's phone."_

Her stomach dropped and she drove her elbow into Noah into ribs when he continually prodded her for an answer. "Oh...n-no no that's fine. Is...everything…alright?"

"_I'm sorry to be telling you this Quinn, but Rachel seems to be worse than we thought. She's fallen into a coma and was place-oh god-on life support…the doctors have informed us that she has a thirty-percent chance of waking up…" _

Quinn was certain her heart had stopped beating.

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><p><strong>AN: There had been an _intimate _scene between Quinn and Puck, but I have edited it out on the account of people complaining.**

**Thank you for all your reviews, favs and follows.  
><strong>

**Love, peace and tranquility!**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own the Glee franchise or any of the characters from it. I, do however own the plot and any characters you don't recognize.

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><p>"This can't be <em>real<em> right now…"

"A _t-thirty-percent_ chance? I-I-what?"

"Why'd they call _you_, Quinn? You don't even like Rachel."

That morning when Quinn awoke to dazzling sunshine, the brightness had confused her, deceived her. She had buried her head underneath the pillow and willed her subconscious to recede into the dreamscape where Rachel was very much okay. She tried to resist the pull of veracity, reluctant to abandon the attempt of dormancy. It was her only hope of escaping reality. But in the end, the blonde had no choice. Wakefulness, pain, confusion, futility had broken through the fragile barrier that separated a dream from actuality. Once pierced, there was no going back through the veil.

"_Just stop Rachel! I don't need you telling me what I should or should not do, okay? Worry about your own love life or lack thereof because there's absolutely nothing wrong with me!"_

"_I didn't mean to pry, Quinn…I was just…concerned about you. You mean so much to me which causes me to forget my place in all of this…"_

"_Just…forget it, Rachel. I have to go put Gabe and Eden to bed. Bye."_

Quinn went rigid, every muscle of her slender frame going taut with dread. The memory crashed and pounded against her being. She didn't need her little sister compounding her weakness with more guilt. Rachel was in a coma fighting for her life and the prospect of the starlet never waking again caused nausea to roil and swell in the pit of her stomach.

"How can you be _jealous_ at a time like this? I already told you, LeRoy said-"

Francine clenched her jaw, making a tight expression as she stood up, towering over the dining room table and over her older sister. "I'm not _jealous_! Rachel told me what you said to her that day! How could you say something like that?"

Quinn closed her eyes and willed the tears to retreat. The blonde didn't want to cry. She wanted to go back to sleep and pretend this conversation away. "I didn't mean-"

Noah's fork hit the plate with a loud clang and the sound caused his fianceé to jump beside him. "Hey, lay off Francine. She feels bad enough and doesn't need _you_ making her feel worse. We're all friends of Rachel here and we're all worried about her too."

"Oh yeah, what _great_ friends she has! Is that why she called me every fucking night crying wondering why she feels like _no one_ gave a fuck about her? Or the fact that she started drinking? Hm, anyone?" When the table remained hushed in visible disbelief, the angry blond near to tears continued in a precarious whisper, "in a few short months, R-Rachel had become one of my patients…especially after the anniversary of F-Finn's death…t-that's how we became so close and now-"Francine's hand shot up to cup her mouth, feeling the wooziness churning around in her womb and her stomach's contents climbing speedily up her throat. With a muffled gurgle, she shot out of the dining room and the group could hear the faint sounds of her retching in the washroom.

"Is what she's saying true?" Tina Chang asked in a timid voice. At first it seemed like a rhetorical question to herself, but when she clutched Mike's hand tightly with her own and looked to Jake, she wanted some kind of answer. "Did R-Rachel really have all of this bottle up inside and couldn't tell any of us? I mean, we're her friends. Of course we care about her."

"As _obnoxious_ and _irritating_ the dwarf can be," Santana took a short moment to compose herself, wanting to break down even more after Francine's testimony. The Latina licked her lips and she felt Brittany's pink curve around her own underneath the table. "Bottom line, I would have been there for her. Just like the time she found out her boyfriend was a _crackwhore_."

Kurt sighed heavily into the palm covering his face. "She's not being serious everyone. Brody was actually a _male_ _escort_."

"Same difference, Hummel."

"_Actually_, it's not."

"Don't care."

Quinn's hands fisted in her lap and watched Jake lift his coffee mug and took a sip. He looked at her for a split second but she caught the momentary flash of anger in his eyes that gave away his discontent. She wanted the earth to open up and swallow her whole. "Rachel would call, at like, three a.m. every night totally wasted. And if Frankie didn't answer, she would call my phone. Last time I spoke with her, her TV show just fell through and she was taking it pretty hard…"

Agonizing impotence welled in Quinn's heart, searing a gaping hole of its own in the acrid surge of frustration and desolation as her world reeled from her brother-in-law's confession. She felt shattered, as weak as a little girl, without even the strength to lift her head, much less move. She hadn't been aware; none of them had fully known the trials and tribulations Rachel suffered through seemingly alone. Moreover, the idea of the Jewish girl now by herself in the hospital room hooked to a team of machines never failed to invade Quinn trenchantly, creating momentary tension in her chest and fleeting abolishing the primal instinct to breathe.

She knew what it was like; she had been in the diva's position before.

Her gaze swung to Mercedes' face who smiled weakly at her then to Santana who was staring blindly into space. "What time are we going to the hospital?" Quinn inquired slowly; pushing away her uneaten breakfast because she'd lost her appetite a long before this conversation had started.

Kurt grasped his husband's arm and looked down at the expensive rose-gold Rolex he had gotten him for their anniversary. "It's quarter-to-nine…" He glanced up. "If everyone's finished, we could leave now if you'd like."

"Who's riding with whom?" Blaine asked the table as he pushed his chair back. "Our car could hold about four people."

"_Blerg…Jaaakkeee…"_ Francine whined from the bathroom and the dancer sighed before standing.

"Puck can take the van. It can fit about everyone in there," Jake dug into his pocket and tossed his brother the keys. "Me and Frankie will stay behind and watch the kids. I don't think she can handle this right now. Just…keep us updated."

"No problem bro. Alright you guys, let's hit the road."

* * *

><p>Saint Agnes Hospital was swarmed with paparazzi and bulky security men guarding the main entrance.<p>

"They're like fucking _vultures_!"

"One time they caught me and San making out in the ball pit of _Chuckie Cheese_."

"Wasn't that featured in the newspaper?"

"That story made front page, yo!"

"Wait, didn't that happen at like _3am_ when Chuckie Cheese is closed?"

"And your point, _Froggy Lips_? Me and Britts likes to keep it spicy. Don't be jealous we look smokin' hot while doing it."

"Lord Tubbington tweeted our location because he was jealous I went on tour with Lady Gaga and he had to do all the household chores."

They sat stationary in the parking lot behind the hospital. Puck opted for more seclusion since most of the ex-Glee club members had careers that required them in the public eye.

This wasn't fucking fair.

The airman slumped further into his seat, taking all his self-restraint not to lash out on the gossiping ninnies in the back seat. Aside from feeling utterly and totally exhausted, anger and tension racked his body. He peered sideways at Quinn, surveying the bleakness in her face.

During the time following their journey to Lima, she had become a shadow in their home. Her days were governed by a series of routines: church, rehearsal, auditions and maintaining a sense of distance from the others.

More importantly from him, especially from him.

There was nothing left of her as he studied his fiancée. Nothing save a quivering bones and agonizing, shattered soul. And looking at Quinn, he meant _really_ looking at her, kept his mind from fixing obsessively on death.

The blonde didn't return his gaze, instead stared transfixed on the hospital before them while gnawing on her bottom lip.

And that fucking bothered him.

Quinn's fists abruptly clenched by her sides as she exhaled a sharp breath "Look," her hazel eyes burned holes into those seated behind her through the rear view mirror and all went silent. Scary Quinn had arrived, "now is not the time to talk about Brittany and Santana's sexual escapades," The Latina could have sworn she heard a hint of jealousy too. "We're here for Rachel and _only_ Rachel." The ex-Cheerio leaned forward to rip open the glove compartment and retrieved her brother-in-law's sunglasses then shoved them onto her face. She spared Noah a minute glance before exiting the vehicle and hurrying across the grass.

"Puck-" Santana reached for his shoulder the best she could being mindful of her rounded stomach. Her Mexican third-eye had been going all kinds of crazy since the reunion, gradually recognizing Brittany's urge to return to Lima while on hiatus. Not to mention Puck storming out of the van, solidifying the speculation she may have had.

* * *

><p>Quinn had only cried five times in her life: babygate, her father kicking her out at sixteen, losing herself senior year, Finn's untimely death and Francine's miscarriage; a baby girl named Lucy.<p>

She would like to think she had a tight reign on her emotions.

Even as the Berry men clung to her fiercely and buried their faces in her hair, she held herself together.

But the moment Quinn stepped into the hospital room, she went rigid, every muscle of her slender form going taut with dead.

For a long time, the blonde started down at Rachel's unconscious yet unrecognizable body. Both the Broadway starlet's legs were wrapped in cast up on hanging suspensions while her face and left arm was engulfed in thick white bandages. There was an endotracheal tube taped to the side of her mouth and attached to a mechanical ventilator. She forced down the gorge that rose in her throat as her fingers trembled against her stomach. To find the monster who did this, her mind seething with desperate thoughts and brutally unyielding plans for revenge.

With a low moan, Quinn sank into the armchair by Rachel's bedside and took her uninjured hand. "I'm…_so_ sorry, Rachel, I didn't-I didn't mean what I said to you," she stroked back the tangled mass of brown locks that still held its stylized curls. Nausea roiled in her stomach as she noticed the lesions and contusions littering her skin where the bandages didn't cover. "It's going to be okay, you know that right? If I can make it, so can you and probably one-up me like you always manage to do. Just like when we were in high school. Do…do you remember, Rachel?"

Only the rhythmic beating of the heart monitor answered her and Quinn's breath caught in a small sob. "Do you really want to be with F-_Finn_ that badly? Are we not…are we not _good_ enough for you, huh Rachel? You're just going to…_run_-run away from _everyone _who loves you? I didn't take you for the cowardly type! _What_? You're not going to defend yourself? Tell me how horrible and mean I am? Come on, Manhands, give me your best shot!"

_Beep…beep…beep…beep…beep._

Quinn whimpered as the tears came harder and the fluttering in her chest increased dreadfully. "…I'm sor-I'm sor-_sorry_…Rachel, I'm sorry. I was out of line…you didn't deserve _any_ of that and _nothing_ of this…" The ex-cheerleader was standing, visibly shaking with every emotion she could think of. More tears rolled down the sides of her cheeks and fell inaudible on Rachel's bandages as she leaned over her. "Keep fighting, Rachel," she swallowed hard, "even though we may never say it aloud…we all need you," the blonde hesitated, melancholy clouding her hazel eyes, "_Rachel…I need you…_"

_Beep…beep…beep…beep…beep._

And through her tears, Quinn kissed Rachel tenderly on the forehead before disappearing from the room.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you everyone who favorited, reviewed and followed this story. Sorry it look so long…life can really throw you some curve balls.<strong>

**Love, peace and tranquility.**


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